To translate our talk about concrete detail into slightly different terms, good essays use nouns and verbs while weak ones use adjectives. Strong essays “show” and weak ones “tell.” Or again, good essays describe action while weak ones are a series of static images. Allow us to explain. The adjective is a perfectly good part of speech, but only when serving strong verbs and nouns. An adjective by itself is an abstract category. If you say that your friend is “crazy,” “zany,” or even “off-the-wall,” you haven’t said much.
But if you describe the time when she got out of her car and locked it with the keys still in the ignition, you’re beginning to make progress. Or the time she got the hiccups during an assembly, couldn’t stop laughing, and had to run out the back of the auditorium. If you describe the basketball game when she grabbed a rebound, raced to the wrong basket, and sank a shot, then froze in her tracks and exclaimed “Oh s_ _ _” loud enough for everyone to hear…. Now we get the idea. After recounting a few anecdotes like these, you don’t need to tell the reader that she is crazy because you have shown what she is like. Strong verbs always drive interesting writing. But as essay writers grope and strain, too many of them reach instead for adjectives, as in the following:
It was a chilly, grey twilight as the enormous stadium
scoreboard announced the fourth quarter. I felt a damp,
cool hint of dew under my aching feet. My muscles were
tired but taut. The atmosphere was electric as the fans
watched expectantly…
Though it is only a fragment, notice how this passage seems to move in slow motion. It is a series of images without much action (verbs) to link them. The overworked adjectives are not necessarily weak words, but they weigh down the prose. A trying-too-hard quality creeps in. Nothing is happening, but the author attempts to convey significance by lingering on every detail of the scene. The passage sounds forced and self-important. A good essay consists of anecdotes and concrete observations that illustrate a story or make a point.
Think Metaphorically
Is your life boring? Does it leave you with nothing to write about? With metaphors (and similes), anybody’s life can be the subject of an engaging essay. Consider Essay 93, in which the author likens his middle school years to the Dark Ages in Europe. He had been an active learner in his elementary years—which he compares to Greek and Roman antiquity. After a middle-school slump, he experiences a renaissance in ninth grade which he likens to, well, the Renaissance. By twelfth grade, he has undergone an enlightenment worthy of the Enlightenment and written an essay with real substance about his relatively typical school career.
There are numerous other examples in this book. In Essay 19, the author uses sailing as a metaphor for life. In Essay 69, the author describes being accepted as an adult in her family through the familiar experience of that first cup of coffee. In Essay 47, an author who grew up in the Caribbean imagines himself as a palm tree in conversation with a baobab tree that represents his African heritage. Metaphors and similes show a student’s ability to do bigpicture thinking. If you’re ever at a loss for what to write, think of analogies that apply to your life. Exploring such comparisons through simile or metaphor can transform mundane events into interesting ones.
Read More : Essays Writing: Telling story and Think Metaphorically
