Avoid Jargon
Using language that is used by a particular group, profession, or culture, especially when the words and phrases are highly technical for someone outside the discipline to understand, can be a disadvantage. Jargon can also convey a sense of pretentiousness and meaninglessness. If you must use a technical term, define it when you first use it. Here is an example of a sentence using jargon:
The Fresnel lens that was invented in 1822 revolutionized the study of pharology. If the reviewer does not know what a Fresnel lens is or what pharology means, your point and its significance are lost. You are making the reviewer’s job more difficult by using jargon.
Instead of being too specific about the Fresnel lens, which is a type of illumination introduced to lighthouses by France in the 19th century, and using the word “pharology,” which is the study of lighthouses (the word comes from the first recorded lighthouse in history, the Pharos Lighthouse of Alexandria around 290 B.C.), this sentence can be restructured so as to avoid jargon: The invention of the Fresnel Lens, which was a type of illumination used in lighthouses in the 18th century, revolutionized the study of lighthouses.
Explain Acronyms and Terms
Make yourself clear. You cannot assume that readers who will judge your proposal will know the same acronyms or buzzwords that are common to your organization or field of interest. While they may understand
that HUD refers to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, a self-coined acronym like CARA, for the Connecticut Arts Response Action, can confuse the reader. Give readers the full name or title on first reference, followed by the acronym in parentheses.
Write Short Sentences
A sentence gains clarity when it is brief. Avoid long sentences. When sentences get too long, wordiness creeps in and it is easy for the reader to get lost in the phrases and lose your train of thought. By the end of the sentence the reader may have forgotten what was written at the beginning. Eliminate wordiness as it is likely to lead to grammatical errors. Take a look at the following sentence:
“Give Peace a Chance” was a dance recital that our high school presented, in which I played a leading role in depicting movements of conflict from around the world.
Here is how you can make life easier:
“Give Peace a Chance” was a dance recital presented by our high school in summer 2008. I played the leading role of performing scenes of conflict and despair faced by people living in war-torn countries.
You want to get your point across, not bury it in words. Your prose should be clear and direct. If an admissions officer has to struggle to figure out what you are trying to say, you are in trouble. Make your presentation as strong as possible and keep it to the point.
Write Cohesively
Organize your thoughts clearly. Arrange the elements of your thoughts in a way that creates a particular structure within the proposal. Cohesion is key. Organizing your thoughts forces you to eliminate unnecessary
details that make the essay disconnected. Make your sentences short and powerful. Repeating the same things over and over again will lead the reviewer to believe that your academic and extracurricular background lack substance, just like your writing does. The following is an example where the thoughts are disjointed. The request is made by an individual applicant to seek funding for a photographic project:
I will be visiting Varanasi, India, to conduct a photographic documentary on Varanasi, India. It is one of the oldest living cities in the world. It captures the essence of India. I want to show how old ideas exist with modern trends. Here is how you can organize your thoughts better:
“Varanasi, India, is one of the oldest living cities in the world. In many ways, Varanasi captures the essence of India, filled with contrasts between the old order and the new, ancient civilizations versus contemporary globalization, and the sacred and the secular. My goal is to conduct a photojournalism project titled Tradition vs. Modernism in Varanasi, India. “The theme of the photo project will be to study how traditional rituals are being assailed and benefited by modernism and globalization.
Avoid Expressions of Uncertainty
The language in a college essay needs to be authoritative. Uncertain words and sentences like “may,” “basically,” “it appears to me,” and “I might be able to,” show uncertainty on the part of the applicant. Such phrases leave the reader to wonder whether or not the applicant offers promise. The following is an example of a sentence expressing uncertainty:
It appears to me that there is a shortage of classical chamber music performances in the university curriculum, I think.
The college essay equivalent of the above statement is as follows:
Less than 30 percent of all classical music recitals in the university curriculum feature chamber music.
Avoid Using Former and Latter
Using the words former and latter slows the reader down. Some reviewers may have to reread the previous text to determine what was “former” and what was “latter.” Here is an example:
Trans fat foods in public schools have led to unhealthy eating while green salads, although less popular, add nutritional value to meals. There is a national effort to eliminate the former and increase the latter food type.
Here is a clearer sentence:
Although many schools around the country continue to use trans fats there is a push for green salads to replace them. Salads are considered healthier and add more nutritional value to meals.
Get Rid of Puny Language
A little amount of emotion may be helpful in college essays, but too much of it is likely to ruin your chances of winning aid. If you think that the reviewer is going to be touched by your emotional statements and not facts, then you may be in for a surprise. Although most people are sensitive and can be swayed by emotions, too much emotional writing can be a disqualification. Emotional sentences are referred to as puny. They try to communicate your project through feelings, and not through facts. Lamenting about your mortgages, unpaid utilities, and ill health within a proposal may not be the best strategy to crafting a proposal that requests funds to buy a guitar to advance your musical career. Grant proposals require a straightforward and matter-of-fact style of writing. Get rid of puny language and convey your ideas pungently and precisely.
The following is an example of a sentence that is puny:
Our Board feels that the establishment of gallery space is a wonderful idea. It will give local people the opportunity to display their fascinating works of art. Unfortunately, though, the recent loss of our executive director, who died of a terminal illness, the fire that destroyed our office space, and an increase in rent have crushed our organization financially. We are trapped in a sad situation and truly need your help.
Here is a better way of writing it:
The establishment of a gallery space will enable local artists to display their work free of charge. It will also bring our arts council a monthly income through juried art shows, entry fees, and the sale of artwork, thereby
enabling our organization to advance financially.
Avoid Tag Questions
A tag is a short question that is added to the end of a sentence or command. We are used to adding tags in conversations. The following is an example of a tag question used in conversation:
You mailed the greeting cards to the client, right? When it comes to grant proposals, however, there is only one thing to do with tag questions: lose them. Here is an example of a tag question:
Public art is one of the most ubiquitous forms of art, don’t you agree? In writing college essays the above sentence needs to be rephrased as follows: Public art is one of the most ubiquitous forms of art.
Spell Check, Stylistic and Grammar Checkers
Spell checkers are now generally integrated into word processing programs. Some of these programs automatically alert you to the presence of misspelled words as you type. Word processing programs can generally check for the following types of incorrect or poor usage:
• Sentences that are too long
• Paragraphs that are too long
• Passive versus active verb constructions
• Adjacent identical duplicate words
• Vague phrases
• Incorrect punctuation
• Missing spaces
• Too many spaces between words or sentences
• Overused words
You want to get your point across, not bury it in words. Your prose should be clear and direct. If an admissions officer has to struggle to figure out what you are trying to say, you are in trouble. Make your presentation as strong as possible and keep it to the point. If your essay is filled with misspellings and grammatical errors, admissions representatives will conclude not only that you do not know how to write but also that you are not smart enough to get help. Use a spell check. Be especially careful about punctuation. Check (and doublecheck) for typographical errors. Above all, submit a clear and readable essay.
Don’t Disappoint the Reader
Be aware that a heading, a subheading, or a topic sentence is essentially a “promise” to the reader about what he/she will find in the text that follows. Remember to include them. For example, if you write, “The chart
below gives an indication of how many elderly residents in nursing homes have experienced falling injuries at Sunny Hill Nursing Home in 2007” but there is no chart, you are betraying the reader.
Don’t Blow Your Own Horn
Remember the adage, “Tis the empty can that makes more noise?” Don’t brag about your project to the funder as being the best. It might go against you. Show substance in your achievements and allow them to speak for you. Avoid an undue amount of self-praise. Let your data speak for you.
Avoid statements like the following:
Our outstanding and exceptional method of...
Our organization is the best in the continent for...
Be Politically Correct
Be politically correct, particularly when you are writing your college essay. Say “people with reduced mobility,” not “disabled people.” Use “minority individuals,” or terms such as African-American or Native American when you have to be specific about ethnicity. “People of color” or “minority individuals” is safer than “colored people”; “developing countries” sounds better than “third world.” Use inclusive, nonsexist language by substituting she/he and his/her.
Avoid Using Modifiers
Examples of modifiers include “very,” “really,” and “certainly.” Use these sparingly in your essay. Using them frequently is an indication that you are trying to get the attention that is slipping by you because you have limited vocabulary to write what you want. Using excessive modifiers also indicates one’s insecurity in relying on simplicity. The following is an example using a modifier:
The Center for Organic Foods, which is an extremely credible organization in the industry, promotes a very important message about eating very healthy foods.
A more effective way of writing it is as follows:
The Center for Organic Foods plays a strategic role in raising awareness about eating healthy foods.
Use Metaphors to Strengthen Your Argument
A metaphor is a figure of speech that enhances the meaning of a sentence with colorful imagery. A metaphor helps to create a written painting with words and adorns your style of writing. Notice how the quality of the following sample is enhanced by a metaphor:
Despite the ongoing peace treaty several signs have indicated that the country is treading unsteady territory. War can erupt at any moment. The grant writing equivalent, using a metaphor, is:
The peace treaty is hanging by a thread.
Create a Visual Painting with Your Words
Make your paragraphs create images appealing to the visual, aural, and gustatory senses when possible. This will entice the reviewer to read your proposal further. Make your writing style a work of art. The longer a funder lingers on your essay, the more likely it is that you will get funding. Adopt an arresting writing style that will grab the reader’s attention and make him not want to stop reading. The following is an example of creating a visual painting with your words:
Aromatherapy massage is relaxing to give as it is to receive. Concentrated essences extracted from plants have been valued throughout history for their therapeutic properties. The ancient Egyptians and Greeks greatly appreciated fragrance. Cleopatra is said to have indulged in herbal essences as part of her beauty regimen and healthy lifestyle. The goal of my project is to promote aromatherapy massage as a healer. Lotus Spa will produce herbal essences that are healthy for the skin.
Lotus Spa will incorporate a wide variety of essential oils into massage treatments. Basic massage strokes such as fan stroking, kneading, and circular pressures work effectively in aromatherapy massage. Massage with aromatic oils softens the skin and aids healing. Some of the herbs used to create essential oils are juniper, lavender, geranium, marjoram, and rosemary. Lotus Spa will offer clients an array of choices on aromatherapy massage, fragrance products, and healing methods.
Stick to One Tense
Avoid changing tenses within the proposal. Using present tense in one section and past tense in another can confuse the reader. Here is an example: A CD recording of the music helped to increase awareness of the different types of singing found in Native American reservations. It was released in record stores last week. The recording is helpful to schoolchildren. It was also helpful to musicians, healers, and scholars. Schoolchildren are listening to the CD in the classrooms.
Here is the college essay writing equivalent:
A CD recording of the music helped to increase awareness of the different types of singing in Native American reservations. It has been widely received by schoolchildren, musicians, healers, and scholars.
Give your College Essay the Human Touch
Don’t get too technical and dense your essay writing style. It can be a turn-off for the reviewer. Most people have feelings. It is up to the writer to reach out to those feelings through writing. Use anecdotes, provide reallife examples, supply actual quotes from those who have benefited or will benefit from your services, emphasize the needs of those you serve, not your own, and describe the situation in terms that are not only factual but also of human interest.
Don’t Be Romantic in Your College Essay
Remember—this is not a romantic letter. Timing your cover letter to get there on Valentine’s Day and pasting pictures of Cupid or provocative photos of yourself on the application pages is not going to increase your
chance of getting into college. Don’t pester the essay reviewer with such childish behavior.
Don’t Put Down Other Applicants
Avoid assuming that you are the only applicant worthy of being accepted to a specific college. By putting down other applicants and giving the impression that you are the only individual worthy of acceptance,
you are likely to hurt your chances of winning any aid. Acting in isolation does not sit too well with today’s thinking. The strategy is to show how your acceptance can blend well with the rest of the student body. When
you put down another applicant, it looks bad on you.
Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
Create a healthy mix of college applications. Apply for private as well as state colleges. Spending six months on only one application is not recommended. Work on several simultaneously. Diversifying is key.
Avoid a Tone of Arrogance
Remember, it is up to the college to decide whether or not to accept you. They are on the higher end as far as admission is concerned. Demanding admission arrogantly from a college is never a good idea. Humility creates more positive overtones than arrogance.
Do Not Use a Cookie-cutter Approach
A cookie-cutter approach is when you submit the same college essay to ten different colleges without tailoring each one separately. It is also known as the shotgun approach. Using the cookie-cutter approach is disadvantageous because the guidelines of each college are different. You may have to reduce the word count, rewrite some of the paragraphs, and do some editing of text. It is critical to tailor your proposal for
each college and to format it specifically to the individual funding source. Writing a single “boilerplate” college essay that can be sent out to many colleges is not recommended. A single college essay is right only for the funder for which it is written. Sending it to dozens at once is usually a waste of resources. Sending a boilerplate proposal skips over the important steps of matching the potential college with your program and presenting the match in a way that the particular reviewer will find pertinent and compelling.
Read More : Write Right—College Essay Writing Techniques
