This is a very basic form of behaviour conditioning commonly used for training animals. If whenever a dolphin leaps into the air, it is rewarded with food (a fish), this behaviour will be repeated — the dolphin will keep leaping into the air. Conversely, if whenever a mouse depresses a lever, it is punished with an electric shock, after a while this behaviour will not be repeated — the mouse will stop depressing the lever.
When the reward or punishment is repeated, it will come to shape behaviour after a period of time. This is how, for example, dolphins are trained to leap into the air every day at shows in marine parks. Skinner calls this reinforcement. There are four different types:
• Reinforcement 1: positive behaviour followed by rewards.
• Reinforcement 2: negative behaviour followed by punishment.
• Reinforcement 3: positive behaviour followed by punishment.
• Reinforcement 4: negative behaviour followed by rewards.
Reinforcements 1 and 2 are logical, while Reinforcements 3 and 4 are illogical. It is not logical to punish positive behaviour or to reward negative behaviour. But in reality, this is what we sometimes — even often — do. We behave in illogical ways. And then we wonder why we do not get the results that we want. A few examples will make this clearer.
Reinforcement 1: Every time a child studies hard and does well in the examinations (positive behaviour), he is given recognition and praise (rewards). Thus, he will tend to repeat his effort every year, throughout his student life.
Reinforcement 2: A child neglects his studies (negative behaviour) and gets a caning or some other form of punishment. Hopefully, this would stop the child from neglecting his studies in the future. In reality, however, such reinforcement is not always effective.
Reinforcement 3: Every time a child studies hard and does well (positive behaviour), his effort is not recognised (lack of reward). Instead, he is pushed to study even harder and perform even better (which can be considered a form of “punishment”). After a while, he will stop studying hard.
Reinforcement 4: Every time a child fails his examination (negative behaviour), his parents pay greater attention to him and spend more time coaching him (rewards). This might actually encourage the child to keep failing because he craves the love and affection of his parents. A common example of Reinforcement 4 found in many families is when young children refuse to eat their meals (negative behaviour), but are given special attention and pampering (rewards) as their parents try to coax them to eat.
The more effective way to make children eat is actually quite straightforward — ignore (punish) them when they refuse to eat. Do not fuss over it. Act as if it is no big issue. They might feel hungry and ask for food later, but if they do not eat at meal times, let them stay hungry. Do not give in to them, no matter how pitiful they may seem. Even if the child throws a tantrum — which can be embarrassing for the parents if the child does this in public — do not give in. To onlookers, the parents may appear heartless.
But if you, as the parents, know what you are doing and why you are doing it, do not worry about what onlookers think. The whole purpose is to let the child suffer the consequences (that is, take ownership) of his or her actions. If a child refuses to eat at meal times, the child deserves to go hungry. After a few days, the child will realise that negative behaviour (refusing to eat) will not bring rewards (attention and pampering), but only punishment (hunger and misery).
This is a simple and logical strategy. Yet, it can be very difficult to implement because one or both parents will feel strongly tempted to give in to the child, or else the grandparents or other family members might give in. One of my friends who wanted to try this strategy had to make a pact with his wife — to let him try it for one week. Every time his wife wanted to give in, he reminded her about the one-week pact. At times, he was tempted to give in as well. But before the week was up, the child’s behaviour had completely improved. My younger brother frequently received rewards — in the form of money, sweets, toys, etc. — for negative behaviour such as telling lies (Reinforcement 4).
In the end, my brother dropped out of school after Primary 6 without passing a single examination. In my case, I was punished by my father whether I behaved well or not. One year, my father punished me even though I had passed my school examination (Reinforcement 3). He caned me because he said I did not help my younger brother pass his exams. Of course, I was also punished for the times when I was naughty (Reinforcement 2).
My father’s punishment was supposed to eliminate my undesirable habits such as gambling and neglecting my studies, but it did not. Instead, I was totally confused by his inconsistent and illogical actions. It made no sense for me to modify my behaviour in any particular way, let alone in a positive way. Whatever I did, I got punished! Like a hardened criminal, I became more defiant with each punishment.
My mother, despite her loving nature, was just as illogical in her system of rewards and punishments. She never rewarded me for all those times that I did well, such as when I passed my school examinations, won trophies for badminton, was appointed class monitor, and so on. She could not afford to reward me with any money or gift, but she never even rewarded me with any word of praise or encouragement.
Instead of rewarding me, my mother brushed aside my achievements, saying they were not good enough to make up for the humiliation she felt when her relatives and friends looked down on her children. Her comments were like a form of punishment, for they made me feel very disappointed.
Thus, I was in an unusual situation where, firstly, I was punished by my father regardless of whether I behaved well or badly; secondly, I was not rewarded by my mother for all the times I did well. I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if both my father and mother had been fairer and more logical in their system of reward and punishment. Perhaps I would have become a “good boy” much earlier.
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