The advent of language and symbolic thought during the toddler and the preschool years paves the way for adoptive parents to begin the process of sharing adoption information with their child. Unfortunately, there is often a great deal of confusion and anxiety among adoptive parents as they begin this process. Whereas
previously the primary foci of the couple were on integrating the child into the family and fostering a strong and secure parent–child bond, there is now a growing recognition of the importance of initiating a process of family differentiation.
This is the developmental period in which most parents are advised by adoption professionals in the United States to begin to talk to their children about adoption. Children might be told of their connection to two families—one that is familiar and the source of their emotional security; the other that is unknown but the source of their biological origins. During this phase of family life, parents face numerous uncertainties about what information to share,when to share it, and in what ways the discussion about adoption will have an impact on their child. Some parents consciously decide not to tell their children about the adoption, a decision believed by many adoption and mental health professions to increase the psychological risk for these youngsters should they find out at some later date that their parents chose not to reveal information about the nature of their adoptive family relationships.
Although disclosing adoption information during the preschool years does not appear to undermine children’s psychological adjustment or to disrupt parent–child attachment, it also does not lead to much genuine understanding about adoption, which can be confusing to parents who might overestimate their child’s adoption knowledge. Once the telling process begins, parents typically report a growing curiosity on the part of children about birth and reproduction.
Children usually begin to label themselves as adopted and quickly learn their “adoption story” at least in some rudimentary form. However, for many adoptees, this early adoption knowledge is superficial as it is not until 5–7 years of age that most children begin to clearly differentiate between birth and adoption as alternative ways of entering a family (Brodzinsky, Singer, and Braff, 1984).
Factors that Buffer Adoptive Families
Although the challenges faced by adoptive parents in the early period of family life cycle are greater, on average, compared with those faced by nonadoptive parent, there are also a number of factors that help buffer the adoptive couple from these unique stressors, leading to quite positive outcomes in postplacement
child, parent, and family adjustment. Adoptive couples usually are older than nonadoptive couples when they first become parents, and they are more likely to be settled into their careers and to be more financially secure. They also have been married longer before becoming parents than nonadoptive couples, which may be associated with greater marital sensitivity, communication, and stress management. The adoptive couple is likely to feel a powerful sense of fulfillment with the arrival of a child, which in turn may serve as a protective factor.
Moreover, the need to work with adoption agencies in order to become parents has a beneficial impact on adoptive parents in that they often have more formal preparation for the transition to parenthood than non adoptive couples. Over the past two decades, adoption-related services and counseling have evolved to address the enduring and changing needs that adoptive families have. Innovative models, such as Generations of Hope (Eheart and Hopping, 2001), demonstrate how the planned creation of a community of foster and adoptive families and senior citizens, with support services integrated into the community, can provide critical supports for families adopting from foster care. Some agencies facilitating transracial adoptions now require prospective parents to undertake an experiential examination of race/ethnicity prejudice and its potential impact on transracial adoptive families. Medical clinics featuring coordinated medical care for children adopted from institutions in other countries now operate in several major cities.
Additional examples of innovative and promising practices can be found on The National Adoption Clearinghouse Web site (http://naic.acf.hhs.gov). Early childhood professionals also have a critical role to play in helping children and parents in adoptive families. Because of the diversity among adoptive families in talking about adoption and living as an adoptive family, it is important for early childhood professionals to provide an open and safe atmosphere for parents to share information about the family’s adoption-related choices. With knowledge about the choices made by adoptive families of children in their class, teachers can help proactively and reactively. Proactively, teachers can plan activities, discussion and experiences designed to promote children’s understanding of the typical variations in families. Reactively, teachers must be prepared to use “teachable moments” as foundations for additional learning, whether these moments arise from peers’ na¨ıve questions, teasing, or adults’ comments. The ultimate goal would be for teachers to provide experiences in which all children and members of their families feel respected and supported for their choices in becoming a family.
Conclusions
Adoption provides children and families with a viable alternate path to family life, one that features similarities to and differences from biological family life. The keys to successful parenting of adopted children include good preparation, realistic expectations, effective behavior management skills, good communication, and adequate supports—all of which are common to other families, as well. Parenting adopted children poses unique challenges and complications for family life and children’s development; however, most adoptees tend to adjust as normally as do non adopted children. Early childhood professionals can enhance their support of adoptive children and families first by developing a heightened professional awareness of adoption and its variations, and second, by incorporating this understanding in programming for and interactions with all children.
See also Development, Emotional; Development, Language; Parenting Education; Race and Ethnicity in Early Childhood Education; Symbolic Languages. Further Readings: Barth, R. P., M. Freundlich, and D. M. Brodzinsky (2000). Adoption and prenatal alcohol and drug exposure: Research, policy and practice. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America; Brodzinsky, David M., and Jesus Palacios, eds. (2005). Psychological issues in adoption: Research and practice. Westport, CT: Praeger; Brodzinsky, D. M., and E. E. Pinderhughes (2002). Parenting and child development in adoptive families. In M. H. Bornstein, ed. Handbook of parenting: Vol.1, 2nd ed. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, pp. 279–311; Brodzinsky, D. M., Singer, L. M., and Braff, a. m. (1984). Children’s understanding of adoption. Child Development 55, 869–878; Eheart, B. K., and Hopping, D. (2001). Generations of hope. Children and Youth Services Review 23 (9/10),
675–682; Evan B. Donaldson Institute (2002). National Adoption Attitudes Survey. Available online at http://adoptioninstitute.org/survey intro.html; Grotevant, H. D., Y. Perry, and R. G. McRoy (2005). Openness in adoption: Outcomes for adolescents within their adoptive kinship networks. In D. Brodzinsky and J. Palacios, eds. Psychological issues in adoption. Westport, CT: Greenwood; Howe, D. (2002). Talking and telling. In A. Douglas and T. Philpot, ed. Adoption: Changing families, changing times. London: Routledge; Juffer, F., and M. H. Van IJzendoorn (2005). Behavior problems and mental health referrals
of international adoptees: A meta-analysis. Journal of the American Medical Association 293, 2501–2515; Lee, R. M. (2003). The transracial adoption paradox: History, research, and counseling implications of cultural socialization. Counseling Psychologist 31(6), 711–744; National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (2003). Adoption statistics. Available online at http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/index.cfm.
Ellen E. Pinderhughes and Neda Bebiroglu
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