The girl had many other outstanding qualities—she was a campus leader and one of the most adventuresome students in the school—but her essay made her appear much more withdrawn than she really was. The essay was well written and an accurate portrayal of part of her life, but it did not highlight her most appealing qualities. There is, however, a balance to be struck. Some applicants are so worried about pandering to the admissions officers that they aren’t true to themselves. Others are so packaged by college counselors or consultants that their voices are drowned out. Still others are so focused on their theme that they are heavy-handed and tell rather than show.
There are innumerable qualities that you might emphasize in an essay, including that you:
- have a sense of humor
- value diversity
- embrace learning
- notice the little things
- are deeply committed to an activity or idea
- can overcome adversity
- have initiative
Colleges want people who are passionate about life and learning, and who will add to their community with participation and leadership.
There are also qualities that can be real turn offs. They generally appear unbeknown to the author and can undermine anything good in the essay. Avoid any suggestion that you:
- are cynical
- think you are a finished product
- are likely to turn inward in college
- are depressed
- are self-destructive
- lack integrity
- tend to blame others
Colleges don’t want people who are complainers, or people who will withdraw from a community rather than embrace it. Many students do all the “right” things but lack real passion, a fact that can be revealed by a passionless essay. Feel free to talk about the challenges in your life, including some that may be ongoing, but
avoid giving information that could raise red flags about your mental health or the potential for destructive behavior of any kind. Your essay may be the only time that the admissions office gets to hear your voice. Think of it as you on the page.
Red More : Essays Writing: What Do You Want to Show?
